“I’m not doing so hot” I said to my husband through snot and tears. “I don’t know how much longer I can feel like this. I’m so tired. I just want to be done”. That was two weeks ago. Just a few days before I adjusted my medication and found relief.
Would you believe it? If all you knew of me was my IG feed, would you know? Did you know my brain chemistry had changed, and I had sunk deep back into depression? Did you have any idea how hard it was for me to just open my eyes in the morning, let alone take care of my family... or even myself? Did you know I had stopped showering regularly? Stopped kissing my husband some days? Stopped making future plans?
I’m not saying it to guilt anyone. But I am saying it to make a point. You don’t know what storm is brewing inside someone else. You don’t know if they jumped out of bed that morning or if they whispered “just get through this day” to themselves.
And to those who are struggling, my point is this: other people may not see your storm. You can’t hold others accountable for feelings you don’t share. Speak out even if it is through snot and tears at 10pm when you can barely muster the strength. Seek help. Or have someone who loves you seek help for you. Make the appointment. Make the call. We have to fight for ourselves because other people have their own battles to manage.
I am so grateful to have a team of professionals, friends and loved ones who sit with me in the deepest pits and throw down ladders for me to climb up. I’m grateful that I know enough to adjust my medications. I’m grateful... eternally grateful... for therapy. And I’m grateful for a God who is strongest when I am weakest.
Just because someone is carrying their burdens well, doesn’t mean their burdens aren’t heavy. ❤️
What if, no matter what you ate or how much you worked out, your body never changed? Would you be able to love yourself exactly as you are?
👆🏼 I saw those words on another IG account a few weeks ago and it has been on my mind ever since. My “fitness journey” has looked more like a “fitness winding road” lately and I am really trying to lean into positivity instead of criticism.
I see so many “body positive” accounts and I’ve always been skeptical. There’s a fine line between acceptance and complacency, and I find myself teetering towards the latter more often.
But that quote made me see things differently. It sounds so simple... but it’s taken me so long to absorb the idea that health isn’t about getting smaller. It’s about consistent exercise and a balanced diet. What my body looks like is just a result of that lifestyle. If I’m a size 2, 6, or 12 is determined by that lifestyle and no matter what I deserve to feel good about it.
Even as I type it, I realize how unimpressive that realization is.. and yet... I kinda feel like it changes everything. ✌🏼🌱 I’m tagging some of my favorite body positive accounts that I’ve been going back to when I need a reminder ❤️ I hope they can help you, too!
